Already in 2007...
We already are in 2007, and it seems a whole year has passed in the blink of an eye. 365 days definitelly do not look like much, thinking of it, and it will be even less as I grow older. Still, the past one has proven to be a challenging one. A year of discovery, deceipt and pleasures, happiness for sure and a few suffering that will continue stabing my conscience for a while.
So here I am, back in Copenhagen, happily signing on a new contract that will keep me in the delights and comfort of Scandinavia. Working in development, Copenhagen does not quite strike one's mind as being the place where the MDGs would be challenged, where poverty would be so high, HIV/Aids prevalence so threatening that it would be a black spot on the map towards universal happiness...
No, obviously not: Denmark is definitelly not in a bad shape, at least not on that respect... But it is definitelly much better placed than New York when it comes to dealing with the countries that really fight for development, those who really dedicate part of the GDP to these goals. Copenhagen is no New York either... Not that I can complain, but the snow covering the city this morning certainly made me melancolic, eager for a another place.
After 3 1/2 years, Copenhagen is the place where I would have lived the longest ever since I left the lycée. It feels strange to try to follow on where I have lived, two years here, one there... Yet, despite being my home, the place I could call it as such, I still feel like I am always on the verge of moving away... More than 3 years later and 6 flats later, I am still there.
What is next? If I knew... I still consider Kinshasa as a true experience, not something that fills you with pure delight, happiness and merry souvenirs but one that teaches you a lot about what you belived in, what you thought of yourself. A true self-inspection place in the midst of both chaos of the remnants of civil war, disorganisation of an Organisation that can be so shamefully bureaucratic... and me, who is not the person I thought I would be.
Why? Who would have I hope to be? What was I supposed to do to fulfill my own expectations? How was I supposed to behave to prove I am not just a cynical one happily moving from time to time away from the easiness of the most developped world. After living and working in Tokyo, Geneva, London and Copenhagen, it was high time for me to confront my idealism, naivety and self conscience to the hard reality of what life is... After all, I can sometimes be no more than this international brat, one that is happy to be paid to keep my dreams alive.
So, tough, I realised that competencies and nice behaviour do not come as a standard on people... Left-overs from my education and studies were still pushing me to believe that although people are definitelly not naturally well intended, one needed to have a reason, a rationale for being an pain in the neck, or a plain prick. Surprise, one does not.
Same with the work: I honestly thought that to push further the whole Reform and Harmonization, the inconditional element to not only make sure the MDGs can be reached but sustained, the UN needed to rely on competency, accountability and high moral. That it should ensure to have the best person available in the position. Well, no, not quite that plain and simple.
I saw with awe my naivity being shrugged against the reality, that you can still have incompetent people around, those who give up too easily in the face of perceived hostility... and those who are playing the system to benefit as much as possible from it.
So, definitelly glad to be back... Yet, disappointment comes with a lesson, and I am more than willing to go back, do my best again. May be I just need to distanciate myself a bit more from the environment and be solely result oriented. After all, if I believe in the MDGs, why can't I just keep my focus on what can be done and not let the details, the peripheric, bother me?
And after all, I am no different...